We all know that too much stress in our lives isn’t a good thing. In fact, stress can contribute to all sorts of health problems. The good news is, there are lots of healthy ways to manage stress and alleviate its effects, but they all involve change. We can either change the situation that’s causing us stress or change our response to it. HelpGuide.org recommends that when deciding which option is best, it’s helpful to keep in mind the four A’s: avoid, alter, accept and adapt.
Avoid unnecessary stress.
- You can’t avoid all stress, and it isn’t healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed. But there are a surprising number of stress triggers in your life that you can do something about.
- Learn when and how to say “no.” Know your personal limits and stick to them. Taking on more than you can handle is guaranteed to build stress – whether in your personal or professional life.
- Avoid people who cause you stress. If there’s someone in your life who consistently stresses you out, limit the time you’re around them – or end the relationship.
- Take control of your space. If the nightly news puts you on edge, turn off the television. If the drive home gives you a headache, take a different, less-traveled route. If crowded stores make your nervous, do your shopping online.
- Avoid hot-button topics. If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.
- Scale down your to-do list. Take a good look at your daily schedule and responsibilities. Get to know the difference between “should” and “must.” If you’ve got too much on your shoulders, drop what isn’t absolutely necessary to the bottom of the list or let it go.
Alter the situation.
- If you can’t avoid stressful circumstances, change how you respond to them. This can often mean altering how you communicate or do something.
- Express yourself rather than keeping your feelings bottled up. If anything or anyone is upsetting you, communicate how you feel openly and respectfully. If you don’t speak up, it will only build up resentment in you, not to mention your stress level.
- Be open to compromise. If you want someone to change what they’re doing, be willing to do likewise. If you’re both willing to bend a little, you have a better chance of resolving your differences.
- Be more assertive. Step up and face problems head on, while also trying to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got work to do and a talkative neighbor stops by, tell them up front that you only have five minutes to chat.
- Strive for balance. All work and no play is guaranteed to burn anyone out. Work on finding a balance between work and family, social life and solitary pursuits, daily chores and downtime.
Adapt to the stressor.
- If you can’t change the cause of your stress, change yourself. You can adapt to and get some control of stressful situations by altering your own attitude and expectations.
- Reframe problems. Try to take a more positive approach to stressful situations. Instead of getting steamed over being stuck in traffic, use it as an opportunity to take a breath and relax, listen to your favorite music or soak up some alone time.
- Focus on the big picture. Keep the stressful situation in perspective. Ask yourself: How much will this matter a month from now? A year? Is it really worth stressing over? If the answer is no, spend your time and energy on other things.
- Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a leading cause of avoidable stress. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to accept “good enough.”
- Practice gratitude. Whenever you’re feeling stressed, take a moment to appreciate everything you have to feel good about in your life, including your own best qualities and special gifts. Doing this can help you keep even stressful things in perspective.
Accept the things you can’t change.
- Some stressors can’t be avoided. Events such as the loss of a loved one, a critical illness or a national disaster simply can’t be prevented or foreseen. At such times, the best way to handle stress is to accept things as they are. It may be hard, but in the long run, it’s better than stressing over what you can’t change.
- Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control, particularly the behavior of others. Instead of getting aggravated or agitated, focus on what you can control, such as how you choose to respond to these situations.
- Look for the positive. When facing a challenge, try to view it as an opportunity to grow. If your own bad decisions helped contribute to a stressful situation, think about how you might have handled it differently and learn from those mistakes.
- Learn to forgive. The hard truth is that this is an imperfect world and people make mistakes. You’ve just got to accept that and turn loose of anger, resentment and negativity. Free yourself by forgiving and moving on.
- Share your feelings. It helps to vent a little and talk about what you’re going through, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter or avoid stress. Talk to someone you trust or make an appointment with a therapist.
More Stress Management Resources
We’re dedicated to helping you be your healthiest, happiest self. View these additional resources from our site:
- If you’re a member of one of our health plans, there’s a good chance you have access to virtual visits – get help for stress, anxiety, trauma, depression, PTSD and more, all from the comfort of your home or on the go.
- Listen to our podcast episodes about stress awareness and – to file away for later in the year – coping with holiday stress.
- Explore our blog articles about worrying less at work, using exercise to help relieve stress and the benefits of talk therapy.
And discover even more helpful information from our partners: